Smoking with Guests
Not a few years ago this title would’ve had an outstandingly different meaning..
Yes, the time had come this past week to try out my handiwork on some guests. My Aunt and Uncle seemed like good candidates, and I could always order pizza, right? With a packed house of 4 total guests, I opted for no fewer than 4 racks of ribs. Why? Well I’ll tell you why. First, ribs come from Costco in packs of two or three racks. I didn’t want SIX racks, nor can I fit six racks on my smoker. Two racks, while reasonable, leaves spare room in the smoker, which of course raises the cost per rack and is, in general, an inefficient use of smoke. This would leave the magic number at three. <insert sesame street vampire ‘Count’ voice> THREE! THREE racks.. ahh haa haaa. </count voice>
BUT, I was in a hurry at Costco and instead of grabbing one pack of three, I went for two packs of four. No logic. No reason. When it comes to having people over I err on the side of excess. And I’ll be damned if I didn’t cram 4 racks into my smoker.
And now, the finished product:
FOUR... FOUR Racks... Ahh haaa haaaaa!
<Ok this image uploaded rotated left and despite my clicking the “rotate right” button and trying it twice… I’m not redoing it. So just imagine. Or turn your head. I don’t care.>
If they look delectable, they were. I’m reminded of some prose from Tucker Max:
“I can only assume from your cavalier attitude that you have not yet partaken the wonderment that is the McGriddle. Let me enlighten you. What happens is the One True God grows them on trees in the Elysian Fields using a heretofore unused incantation. He then proceeds to magic them down to your local eatery where whatever Ghetto Bastard cook your McDonalds has rescued from welfare that week proceeds to wrap it in cellophane and pass it along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies it is suddenly faced with. Is that egg? why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait-They didn’t add… yes they did, yes they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friends, they wrapped it in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information, IT hits them… the syrup nugget. THE MOTHERFUCKING SYRUP NUGGET!!! It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen.”
Except insert “Kickass Ribs” for “McGriddle”. Oh and my ribs didn’t have a syrup nugget.
**Random aside: even after reading “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” I have yet to ingest a McGriddle**
Same recipe this time as before, just a few minor process changes:
- Two racks used honey mustard, two had spicy mustard
- Two racks used “Memphis Dust”, two used Costco rub
- Between the four racks, I killed a full jar of honey in the Texas Crutch along with a 1/4 cup of brown sugar per rack
- I used a quarter can of squirt in the bottom of each foil wrap (double my last effort), and double wrapped to prevent leakage (ew, that sentence reads NASTY, but I’m leaving it because I’m really 14 years old)
- I gave it a full hour at the sauce stage
Aside from the sweet goodness that was the taste, I knew they were brilliant when, after saucing and smoking for a full hour, the racks broke apart taking them off the smoker. I literally could pull a bone out, unassisted (AGAIN, super nasty sentence, I’m leaving this one, too.)
Now, normally I would end a post here, but no, damnit, I wasn’t done.
I needed cornbread. Not just any cornbread, REAL cornbread, culled from the loins of southerners.
**Second aside: I don’t know that you can really cull anything, especially cornbread, from the loins of anything, especially southerners. This infers that cornbread would, in essence, be a fruitage of the loin, and if I remember my scripture, it most definitely is not.**
So I found this recipe:
http://www.ezrapoundcake.com/archives/4801
It had a few things that I love. First and foremost is buttermilk, which makes everything better. This includes (but certainly not limited to) pancakes, waffles, mashed potatoes, biscuits, and cornbread. Second, it’s made in cast iron. Cast iron is MAN cooking. And finally, it was easy as hell. Notice in the photo how it has a crispy fried edge? That’s thanks to butter my friends. Sweet, delicious, butter sizzling in the cast iron pan of amazingness.
As this was my first cornbread, I fully anticipated screwing it up. Nothing doing. Couldn’t have been more perfect. Go out, buy yourself a cast iron skillet, try that recipe, and tell me if it’s not McGriddle-delicious.
I would generally post a photo of my creation, but alas, my Aunt and Uncle are rock stars and pour delicious drinks, and thusly by the time we sat down to sup, I was drunk as hell and solely focused on ingesting cornbread to sober up. It didn’t work. I had the hangover to prove it. And in case you’re wondering whether or not my state of inebriation impacted my judgement.. it didn’t. Everything was equally delicious the next day, if not moreso. So there. Cram that in your cramhole.
~JJ/V~
Opportunity Cost
I thought it appropriate to draft a little something-something following the Sunday game that almost was. For those of you too just joining our programming this evening and too lazy to read below, I’ll recap, because I love bulleted lists:
- Tickets were offered. Beautiful tickets. 7 rows off the field at the 40 yard line tickets.
- I pounced.
- Ticket holder who had purchased to make a quick buck, was taken aback, and quoted face value.
- I balked, offered $40 over face just for his trouble.
- Ticket holder huddled with wife (<– that’s a football reference in case you’re a moron).
- Wife declared victory over $40
- I once again offer to wait, allowing owner to feel out the second hand market for a few days. Ticket holder refuses.
- I paypal money. Transaction complete. Handshake made.
Fast forward 6 hours…
- Ticket owner refunds money
- Note on refund says “I can’t sell you tickets, good luck with your search”
- I go thermonuclear.
- I drink a beer.
- I calm down.
- I realize this jackass sold out his integrity for an extra $350.
- I deem him my mortal enemy (think Sheldon and WIL WHEATON)
- I opt to not waste my words even acknowledging his complete lack of class, morality, good judgement, ethics, etc. etc.
- I watch the game on TV, musing that I could’ve taken that dirtbag to small claims court and handily won, and of course realize I’d gain more by working my day job.
In case you aren’t a football fan, here’s how I would sum up the game and Tim Tebow’s performance:
“Un-fucking-believable”
Yes, folks, perhaps the best Bronco game I’ve ever seen. It wasn’t the same caliber of game as, say, the Saint’s performance in dismantling the Lions.. that was just a spectacle of athleticism that you don’t see every day. But this game will definitely go down in the annals of time as one of the great underdog upsets.
Yet, I can’t help but wonder, what would it have been like to be there?
Relax, I’m not sad. I learned a wonderful lesson and spotted a douchebag that I previously may have wasted more time associating with. For this, I am thankful. Also, I have an enormous tv. It’s not unpleasant.
Finally, I would like to bring a little chaos theory to our discussion. I am not a mathematician. Nor will I ever be. However, I can’t help but think that my presence at this game SOMEHOW, in tandem with a butterfly getting eaten by a bird in China, would have led to the Broncos not winning. No, I do not think I’m at the center of the universe, nor am I tied to Tebow, his love of Jebus, or the outcome of any sporting event, that’s just how my fortunes tend to roll, ya know?
In other news, my pup turned 4 yesterday. I think I will bake her a cake. 🙂
~JJ/V~
I hate people.
I know I’m not alone on this one, but I find lately it’s something I say every single day at least once. Here are a few examples of this general angst:
- Every. god. damn. day. I try to cross the neighborhood street with my pup in tow, in a crosswalk, marked with a ginormous fucking “YIELD TO PEDESTRIANS” sign, next to an ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. Every. god. damn. day. I stand watching car after car blaze through like I don’t exist.
- At least once a week, I locate the asshole who realizes only too late that he missed his lane and, rather than go through the intersection, turn around, and correct his course (thusly inconveniencing only himself), proceeds to crank a 45 degree angle and straddle into the turn lane that isn’t yet moving, blocking every car behind him until such a time that the earth rotates, time passes, and HIS new light gives him to the go-ahead to correct his mistake and let everyone else subsequently go about their day. Because, yes, Mr. Asshole, you and your plans are FAR more important than everyone else, and by all rights our galaxy SHOULD, in fact, orbit you.
- Generally, no one in this country can even say, think, or SPELL the word “courtesy” … I hate to harp on drivers, but if I let your ass in, motion for you to cross in front of me, or in general pause my plans to accommodate you.. have the decency to raise a hand in acknowledgement of my existence. I don’t think this is asking much. I don’t want compensation, I want an acknowledgement that yes, sir or madam, we have both crossed paths in the universe and I have done you the ever so slightest of favors and allowed you to go first in line. A HAND-WAVE, PEOPLE! Even in this morbidly obese nation it isn’t asking much.
And now, I digress into the story that REALLY gets me good and fired up, courtesy of “Michael” who’s name I have placed in quotes, but in reality, NOT changed. Upon further edits, I may include his last name and email address. It might at least make for an interesting web search from potential employers.. <ahem>.. but here goes:
Once upon a time, boys and girls, I was attending an Ohio State bowl game party. I am not necessarily a Buckeye fan, but others in my life are, so there you have it. This was a lovely party that featured beer, good food, a nice place, and a host that poured shots. Yes, I was most impressed with Michael. Most impressed indeed.
At some point during the party it was announced (I was in the bathroom) that Michael had procured two bronco tickets for the first playoff game in.. quite a while.. and he was looking to make a few bucks rather than go.. anyone interested should let him know.
Well, damnit, I was interested.
I think Michael was taken aback with my spot decision to purchase, because he stated he clearly hadn’t thought his “salesmanship” through, and, seeing that we were nice and they wanted to hang out with us again, would just sell them for face value.
I objected. And kindly offered $20/ticket over face as compensation for his trouble.
He briefly discussed with his wife, she found that being up $40 and the quick sale was an agreeable and amicable transaction, and gave her approval to him in the form of a “high five”.
I again paused the transaction, stating that IF he would like to see how the aftermarket plays out and come back to me in a few days, my offer would stand and he would then have ample opportunity to get more than $40 for his time.
No no.. he was ready to cut bait, he hates Tebow, he was happy to part with them, and upon my sending him $330 dollars via PayPal oh my phone, agreed to email the TicketFast tickets the next day when they arrived. We left the party excited to attend the game and dreaming up dinner-type events by which to extend some reciprocity for their kind invitation.
Later that same evening, I find a “refund” email from Paypal with the following message:
“Hey [Vicki], sorry but I can’t sell you the tickets. My friend Randy does have 10 tickets to sell so you can try to email him at [redacted]. Sorry, good luck with your ticket search and game and it was good to see you and [Rhymes with Vicki] today. Michael [sadly redacted]”
Now, gentle reader, let us review a few facts:
- “Can’t” is, obviously, not a reason. In fact it would almost be voted the number one “I’m embarrassed to tell you my reason” reason.
- A quick craigslist search yields tickets are going for ~$350 each in the lower level.
- Money had been transacted, I was not searching – as in, legal tender had left my account and arrived securely in his, wrapped with a bow and blanket.
Anyone care to guess what happened? Yep.. my thoughts exactly. Michael sold his integrity down the river for $350.
That’s just bad business, Michael. You had a clear opportunity to gracefully exit the situation and cash in, yet you managed to fuck it up in every possible way, confirming for me literally every permutation of “unethical” and “slime” I could conceivably imagine (note: I have a vivid imagination with a fantastic vocabulary).
Yes.. I hate people.
Buckle up, Michael, Karma is about to come knocking. Perhaps I can recommend your next Rental Car……….?
-JJ/V-
Man of Honor
I was very recently asked to stand in a wedding.. on the brides side! Go ahead and insert your jokes about “best bitch” and how I should shave my legs for the dress.. but I’m SUPER excited. First, I don’t have to wear a dress, my tux will coordinate with everyone else. Second, how cool is it to say I’ve been in a wedding on the opposite side of the aisle? I, of course, had to google this right up and stumbled upon this site:
http://www.askaweddingplanner.com/blog/index.php/tag/male-bridesmaid/
I definitely dig the term “man of honor”, this is going to be a good time. And yes, I’ll pass on the wedding shower, but I’m totally signed up for bachelorette party and engagement party!
While I was pushing for a destination wedding (I needed one of those excuses like “I HAVE to go to Belize because I’m in a wedding”) – it’s confirmed for Colorado now, so I suppose I’m back to planning my next vacation without any specific purpose other than R&R / Diving. Ohhh welll……
-JJ/V-
Alamo, I’m Disappointed
Ok, this is not a revelation of any kind, I was disappointed to begin with. But I will say it’s been a couple of months since I sent letters to the executive board of Enterprise Holdings regarding their disturbingly fraudulent business dealings, and I am yet to receive any sort of response. You’d think that there would at least be a minion, somewhere, tasked with drafting a stock acknowledgement and thank you for my feedback, but I got nothing.
My heart is warmed by the numerous similar stories at this website:
http://www.consumeraffairs.com/travel/alamo.html
That’s right: Alamo, Enterprise, and National “Screwing our Customers Sideways Since 1974”
I think “The Taylor Family of St. Louis” that has owned this screwed up 14 billion dollar organization for years is in need of a reality check.
One thing is for certain, I will take extreme pleasure in paying whatever dollar amount Hertz or Avis requests of me.. perhaps even double what an Enterprise Holdings company would ask.. purely for the joy that is screwing Enterprise Holdings out of every last dime possible.
I urge you, gentle reader, to do the same.
-JJ/V-
Ribs are for girls – Brisket is a MAN challenge
I kid I kid.. I probably got lucky on my first round of Ribs and declared victory too soon. But needless to say, I’ve been itching to chase the holy grail that is brisket. Why the holy grail? Because it’s ricockulously difficult to master. Many bothan spies died to get the ideal brisket recipe.
Actually to say that implies that I nailed this one on my first try.. and I did not. Let us begin with a photo:
Brisket - Take 1
Here was my process:
- Make up a simple rub from the BBQ Bible (Steven Raichlen) – cumin, chili powder, sugar.. etc etc. I liked this rub because I love cumin; it’s also relatively simple, and as a simple minded individual, I appreciate this.
- Rub this 6.5 lb beauty down and cure in the fridge overnight
- Smoke directly on the grates for 2-3 hours. You can see my success in that lovely pink smoke ring in the photo above.
- Crank heat to ~180, Place in a foil pan and begin basting every 2 hours. I used a beer (Old Chub Scotch Ale) / coffee / chili baste from the Traeger cookbook that came with the smoker. Mainly because I love the idea of using coffee in anything.
- At about the 6 hour mark, I placed the brisket in a cooking bag with a little of my basting liquid, sucked out the air, wrapped tightly in foil, and placed back in the foil pan for another few hours.
- Remove, slice against the grain, and enjoy.
This was actually pretty tasty.. the meat was tender, the smoke flavor was good, and most importantly, I didn’t overdo it on the salt and ruin the whole goddamn thing (like last time). Here’s what didn’t work / what I want to improve next go-round:
- I think I need a cut of meat with a little more fat, the Costco meat wasn’t bad, but it was barely 1/4″ on top.
- My simple rub needs a little more heat – I found myself either wanting a spicy sauce or craving a saltier, spicier, crust (I think the pros call this bark)
- Speaking of bark, I want more.
- I heard the cooking bag trick that went like this: bbq pro x > his neighbor > my dad > me. Every time I have tried it, whatever air is left in the bag expands and blows the foil sky high. This time around I ended up punching a hole in the top of the bag and hoping that it would still trap enough moisture from the foil covering the pan to effectively break down the meat. While the meat WAS tender and juicy, it definitely wasn’t falling apart like I wanted. (Yes, I expected to nail a brisket on the order of Blacks BBQ in Lockhart TX on my first try.. nobody said I don’t aim high)
Next time around I’m going to get a brisket with more fat, spice it up, and increase the cooking time by about 4 hours once sealed in a cooking bag / foil / whatever. I want it falling apart if I so much as sneeze near it.
-JJ/V-
Ribs Round Deaux
Well I’ve managed to fall off the radar and fail in my blogging for a few weeks, so before we bounce right into the new year, it’s time for some updates. I’ll start with a topic near and dear to my heart… RIBS. (ribs..heart.. get it?!? That’s gold.. solid gold Jerry!)
After replacing my smoker’s igniter – or what they call a “hot rod” (TWSS).. I was back in business. As I finished this project too late in the day, all I had time for was some early afternoon baby backs, so off to Costco I went. I noticed during my journey there that they sold my Traeger smoker for $20 under what I had paid.. but oh well. No biggie.
I’ll start with a photo of the end result:
Baby Back Ribs of Deliciousness
These were nothing short of spectacular. Here’s the process:
- Mustard base – I used honey mustard, but also purchased plain yellow and stone ground spicy for future experimentation.
- “Memphis Dust” rub generously applied – if you want the recipe just google it, piece of cake. Lots of pork-friendly sugary sweet amazing fun
- Smoke at ~120 degrees using mesquite directly on the grill for 3 hours
- Remove, cover in a layer of honey, top with a generous helping of brown sugar. Place in foil, add a touch of Squirt to the bottom, wrap tightly to trap all steam. (called the Texas Crutch)
- Toss back into the grill at ~220 degrees for 2 hours
- Remove, baste in Sweet Baby Rays sauce, and place directly on the grates (no foil) at ~220 degrees for another hour
They will make you very, very happy. Promise.
Next round I’ll mix in some spicy mustard for the base, apple wood (pork + applewood = awesome), and repeat the process.
-JJ/V-
Winning one for the little guy…
Every now and again it’s nice to fight the man, and it’s especially nice if you fight the man and win. I’d like to take some time now to talk about the fraud-ridden, unethical company that is Alamo Rent A Car. Read on.. this one will save you a few bucks AND heartache, I guarantee it.
So here is the deal at Alamo. You pick up a car, you aren’t given any inspection paperwork, and told to go on your merry way. When you choose to return the car, one of three things can take place:
1. The person notices nothing wrong, they sign you in, you catch your flight.
2. They notice something wrong that legitimately occurred during your possession, you provide them insurance information, and off you go.
3. They notice something wrong that did NOT occur during your possession, yet, because they noticed, you are now liable for anything and everything they say.
I’m firmly convinced that this is a very purposeful scheme. Somewhere some actuary calculated out the risk of what “discovering damage” really means, including an approximate cost of a “recovery” scenario, potential profits, etc. This is a money maker folks, no two ways about it. This essentially hedges their bet that, should you (like me) be covered on your own insurance policy and decline the pure profit that is their hard-counter-sell insurance policy, well, they’re getting that money back and a hell of a lot more. The best part is that you sign your life away in terms of responsibility ASSUMING, incorrectly, that there would be some amount of “fairness” associated with any disputes regarding damage. What really happens is that it’s your word vs. theirs (they always win) and you’re left holding the bag.
This past summer, for the first time in my life, I actually rented a car and had a problem. Actually two problems. Because I’m a smart consumer and didn’t take the “sucker bet” that is daily insurance coverage, this gave Alamo carte blanche access to make my life hell.
(As an aside, I never rent from Alamo or Enterprise unless I absolutely have to, I’m a Hertz and Avis guy, but this deal happened to be part of a Costco travel bundle, which was a great deal all in)
In addition to getting two lemons in ill repair, I was hit by a native Hawaiian who failed to turn around and see if anyone was behind him before throwing his F150 in reverse. He admitted full fault, yet, we did not have cellular signal and could not obtain a police report. When I returned I spoke to Island Insurance who said they would get the full claim paid, and I forgot all about it.
Then the letters started arriving from Alamo. After two hopeless phone conversations, I directed them to my Insurance Agent who got to the bottom of what was going on. Island had requested additional documentation and, rather than supply it, Alamo felt they would just bill me instead and see who paid first, either me or Island Insurance. After all, I signed the contract stating I would be liable no matter what, right?
Yeah.. shady. Beyond shady. Note that I did NOT receive any of the following:
1. Accounting of the claim, detailing total damage estimate and all associated fees.
2. Details of payments received to date and explanation of any delta.
3. Reason explaining my responsibility for the balance, if any, and why it was not being pursued from the other party.
As of yesterday, I completed the correspondence with their “Damage Recovery Unit” aka: “Collection agency that will make up random bills and threaten you with a REAL collection agency should you contest, question, or request additional information (read: PROOF) regarding the bill. I had received my “final notice” that they were moving me over to collections (without any justification whatsoever) and that I was no longer allowed to rent from them ever again (like I would).
I promptly drafted a letter to the entire executive staff of Enterprise Holdings, the parent company of Alamo, Enterprise, and National. Rather than risk one letter getting buried, I sent 6 via post to the CEO, COO, Board Chair, and a selection of EVPs. I then found an email address for their CEO Andrew Taylor (ataylor@erac.com) and sent a PDF copy. Not sure if it was received, but it didn’t bounce either. Last, but certainly not least, I sent a PDF copy of the letter as MY “final notice” to the “Damage Recovery Specialist”. Where he hadn’t previously responded to emails, I got a response within 13 minutes stating he had decided to “close the claim and waive all charges” … when did this happen? He said “just yesterday” but in reality, I think it was within maybe 9 minutes of receiving my email.
The lesson, folks, is to pound executive staff with the realities of this horrific business. I’m copying my letter here for your enjoyment.. should any of these people choose to respond directly I will most certainly post the updates.
Cheers
-JJ/V-
========
Date: 11/11/11
Mr. Andrew Taylor
Chairman & CEO
Enterprise Holdings, Inc.
600 Corporate Park Drive
St. Louis, Missouri 63105
Dear Mr. Taylor:
I am writing to report to you regarding my recent experience with one of your companies, Alamo Rent A Car, and its associated Damage Recovery Unit.
In brief:
- I rented the car on 7/20/11 at the Kahului Airport location, confirmation number (redacted).
- 48 hours after renting the vehicle, the battery died in a parking lot. I was forced to call AAA to get it jumped (AAA stated it had clearly had this problem before as the battery lead covers were already removed from a prior jump), and had to call Alamo to tow the car, as it was unsafe to drive.
- 24 hours later while stopped and in park at a one-way bridge on the west side of Maui, a white Ford F150 backed into me, damaging the front of the second rented vehicle. The owner admitted fault, provided his insurance information, and as we were hours from police assistance and without cellular phone signal, we could not obtain a police report.
- We returned to the rental agency, provided the responsible parties insurance details, and obtained a Chrysler Sebring. This vehicle’s brakes were so poorly maintained I did not feel safe driving the vehicle; we returned it within 48 hours and completed our trip without a vehicle.
Two months later (September 15, 2011), I receive a call from a “Recovery Specialist” attempting to collect a fee. After repeated return phone calls, I finally reach a different agent who states that I owe an administrative fee but it is “usually negotiable”. I gave my correct address and said to send me proof in the bill, including why the other insurance company was not billed in full.
Subsequent to this request, I am now getting bills from your “Recovery Specialist”, Randall D Hardee (randall.d.hardee@erac.com, 918-401-6677, claim 01786506) for the amount of $437.69. He has held exactly one conversation with my insurance agent and verbally stated the following:
- Island Insurance was billed for the full amount, the majority of which was remitted.
- Island Insurance had been unresponsive to his phone calls.
Upon contacting Island Insurance directly (phone call immediately returned), they have stated the following:
- Island Insurance is and has been willing to pay all charges, including administrative fees.
- In order to remit the balance regarding “loss of use” of the vehicle, they requested written proof from Alamo.
Both my insurance agent and I have made repeated attempts to contact Randall to understand why the requested documentation was not provided to Island, and most importantly, why I was billed instead of Island when they have stated very clearly that they are willing to pay.
The most recent communication I have received from Alamo has NOT been in response to phone calls from my agent OR email communication from me, but rather, a more threatening letter stating that, as a final notice, if I do not remit I will be sent to collections and I am no longer eligible to rent from Alamo, Enterprise, or National Car Rental.
What I am asking you is as follows:
- Why would your company bill in duplicate both me AND an insurance company to see who would remit first?
- Why have my repeated requests for proof and justification of the dollar amount been continually ignored?
Regarding my ineligibility to rent from any one of your companies, please do not worry, as a result of this experience I wouldn’t provide one dollar of business to any corporation associated Enterprise Holdings.
Ultimately, my personal auto insurance policy would cover any damage that was justifiably my fault in any rental car I drive. Thus why I declined Alamo’s daily insurance charge. I am in no way debating this. But surely you cannot contest the fact that by not conducting and providing documentation for initial vehicle inspections, you introduce an astounding amount of subjectivity to the rental process. Subsequently, by not readily providing proof and an accounting for any activity associated with a legitimate claim, you immediately associate the words “scam” and “fraud” with the entire damage recovery process.
You’ve lost a customer, Mr. Taylor, and I will not hesitate to caution any others regarding the business practices of Alamo Rent A Car. I hope this letter will, at a minimum, get someone’s attention regarding this poor and unethical practice such that it can be repaired for future customers.
Sincerely,
(Redacted)
cc: Pamela Nicholson, COO; Donald Russ, Vice Chairman; Greg Stubblefield, EVP; Matthew Darrah EVP; Lee Kaplan, SVP.
Random. Shallow. Musings. 